a little after midnight on new year’s day, paul and i went and jumped in lake washington. paul wasn’t really up for the idea but he was a good sport and went along with me. i knew i wanted to do something exciting to ring in the new year and I’d never done a polar bear dip before. because that’s really all it was. a very, very quick dip.
i wanted to jump in the freezing cold lake because i am ready for change in my life. i’ve not really been one for new years resolutions. i think because i don’t like to be tied down to a commitment to do something for sure.
but this last week i read of an idea to just use one word to symbolize what you want to do or how you want to be for the new year. and after thinking it over i decided that i wanted to make Change my word for this year.
which might not sound very exciting but it rings true to me and what i have in mind to accomplish this year. i have no specific things or goals i want to accomplish
rather i want to change myself.
and i want to make a difference in the lives of those around me. this morning when i was thinking about this new word of mine, i realized that one of the changes i needed to make was to bear my testimony. most first sundays of the month in our church, we, as members fast or go without food for two meals and donate what we would have spent on those meals to the church. and that money is to be given to those who are less fortunate than us. so, it's called fast sunday. and during the sacrament portion of fast sunday, after we take the sacrament, it is our choice to go up and speak from the podium about our thoughts about the gospel of Jesus Christ. to bear our testimonies. almost every sunday, when testimonies are being born i want to go up and bear mine. i heard once that bearing of one's testimony makes it grow stronger. and who doesn’t want their testimony to grow stronger? but, i would use my kids as an excuse. i would use my inability to speak without crying, as an excuse. or my inability to make sense once i'm standing up in front of an entire room full of people, as an excuse. or i would just ignore the warm feeling in my heart of the holy ghost prompting me to share my testimony. and be afraid. and stay in my seat.
so, at the possibility of bearing my testimony this morning i opened up my scriptures and they fell to alma chapter 17. alma runs into the sons of mosiah and at this point it has been fourteen years since an angel appeared to them in their wickedness and told them to shape up. they had gone out as missionaries to teach to the lamanites and had suffered through much trial and affliction. on these two pages that i opened my scriptures to, only three verses were highlighted. and they spoke to me. it was amazing. in verse 3 it says, they had given themselves to much prayer and fasting, therefore they had the spirit of prophecy and the spirit of revelation and when they taught they taught with the power and authority of god.
i've always wanted this. the spirit of prophecy and revelation. and i believe that through prayer and fasting, i’ve received it. but i want to teach with the power and authority of God. that is my goal every time i am teaching the primary children. but i think all too often i’ve felt like i’m too young. or too inexperienced in the gospel of Jesus Christ. to really receive revelation. which is ridiculous. no one is too young. or too inexperienced in the gospel. we all are entitled to revelation as long as we are doing what is right. no matter how young or new in the gospel we are. we all have the potential to make a change and do good in the world.
and i’m tired of being afraid. i’m going to make a change. i’m grateful for this gospel. i’m grateful for my Savior, who gives me strength to do things the natural woman in me would not . i’m grateful for my sweet family, my darling kids who make me laugh every dayand my amazing husband who inspires me to be better. and I am grateful for my calling in primary and the people i serve with and each and every child i serve.
